Who the fuck is Mary.

And who gives a shit how many Apples are in her basket?

If teachers in school had spoken about subjects in terms of their usefulness, I would have been far more interested in what they had to say. Teaching math in the context of understanding finances so that I could buy a Ferrari would have been much more interesting to me.

Most adults falsely assume that children should listen to them only because they're adults…as if that means anything; ask any adult how they would respond to that type of treatment, and you'll understand why it doesn't work with children either. "Just because" isn't a compelling argument. My memories of public school were those of frustration with teachers who could not explain why they were teaching me something. Why should I care about learning it? Understanding "why" I'm doing something has always been important. If I'm not becoming a better person for myself and the people around me. What am I actually spending my time on?

Why?

Why am I even writing this blog? I don't know why, but that's why I'm writing about Why. Why is a slippery slope, it takes you down the rabbit hole, but there's never an answer that can satisfy your appetite for why. It's like a shovel to dig deeper and not to be confused with meaning. Meaning like sunshine, doesn't go very deep. Asking why doesn't always clarify; more likely, it confuses the issue until it loops in circles. Ask why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, and everything becomes meaningless. It's like an elevator to move between floors in the hotel of human constructs. "Why" is a distraction. It's a shiny object to direct your attention away from something else; why you ask?

If why never came into existence, self-reflection would be really difficult. But why removes you from the real why, which is to be here and now, to live moment to moment; why is a bridge to the past; it's also misinformation about the past, our sad attempts to rationalize our past experience where no reason can be pulled. We don't ask "why" the future happens; that would be a stupid question; the future simply does–happen. We can spend a lifetime wondering why something happened in our childhood, why our parents were the way they were, why our girlfriend cheated on us, or why we didn't stand up for ourselves when we knew we should. None of this helps us understand the future and confuses the question of what to do in the present. There are infinite "whys" to explore, but there is only one now to live in.

I have an abusive relationship with why; why? Because it's so much fun, and it's a powerful tool for learning and exploration, but without moderation, it'll cripple you and leave you sinking into a pit of existential nothingness.

Why, why?

When now is now.