Where is the perfect place to eat ice cream?
First of all, what kind of ice cream? Well, I'm glad you asked.
The Dary Queen: "Can I have a chocolate blizzard with cookie dough and extra, extra cookie dough, please?" of course.
It's been 24 years since I first went to Dary Queen. I must've been three feet tall, and I remember it well; tasting the flavor my mom had just ordered for herself was life-changing. Ever since that moment, I've never ordered another ice cream flavor from Dary Queen.
Back to the question, where do you enjoy it?
Hmm, how about on top of a mountain overlooking sparkling city lights at dusk with a supermodel in your lap while driving a Ferrari? That sounds pretty good, except the ice cream would've melted on your trek up the mountain, you don't know any supermodels (or regular ones, for that matter, and if you did, they wouldn't be eating Dary Queen), and if you already own a Ferrari, it's doubtful you're reading my blog.
You can find a nice park nearby, and people watch from a bench while enjoying your glorious ice cream. What about simply sitting inside the Dary Queen, with the mild aroma of bathroom cleaner keeping you company?
(Why do they all smell like a middle-school bathroom?)
Frankly, I could find an issue anywhere I could eat the delicious ice cream. It's "too hot," "too cold," "too loud," "too smelly," "too close to other people," it "isn't scenic enough," or the employee gave you vanilla with a little bit of chocolate syrup as a sad excuse for chocolate ice cream and then proceeded to over-blend the three little pieces of cookie dough they put in (completely missing the extra, extra cookie dough part of the order) and then imagined somehow you wouldn't notice.
I don't know if anyone else obsesses about the best possible place to enjoy ice cream before it melts away. I know rationally that there isn't a perfect place or scenario for shoveling excessive amounts of joy into your mouth. No matter how hard you try, there will always be a flaw in the perfect plan for enjoying the perfect ice cream.
